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Sex Goddess Visits Boonville
by Bill Kimberlin
October 18 , 2007

     The newly departed tabloid sex queen, Anna Nicole Smith, has been recently sighted in downtown Boonville holding a placard denouncing sex and its purveyors. As near as anyone can tell this was not the real Anna Nicole Smith but more likely an apparition.

     "This whole thing may have been brought about by my protesting the sale of alcohol to children", reported David Severn, a local person who formerly edited the Valley’s only analog newspaper.

     Visions of this type are not all that unusual, according to a local barkeep who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of enraging the analogs of the Valley.

     "The only thing that’s different this time is that usually these sightings are just outside of the Boonville Lodge. That makes me suspicious that this may be some kind of hoax."

     Whatever it is, we should all be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary.

     Mr. Severn, who is endeavoring to form a new prohibitionist party in the United States, is himself wary of just such a sighting as this.

     "I have seen this before. Al Gore appeared in front of the Boonville Post Office when I was imploring people to vote for Ralph Nader. Well, we made that happen. We got just enough people to defeat Al Gore and set Ralph Nader up as not only the national guardian of the environment, but also as the premier spokesperson for global warming. It’s true Ralph hasn't come out with his plan yet but that is only a matter of time."

     On the other hand, several people expressed support for the validity of the sighting. "This was not some vision of Christ appearing in a taco", they said.


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